For most children, the school holidays are the best part of the year. For separated parents, they can be one of the most stressful. Here we discuss how it’s a good idea to plan ahead, what the law in Scotland says about taking children away, and what your options are if you and your child's other parent simply cannot agree.

Why do the holidays cause so many disputes?

During term time, arrangements tend to run on rails. Everyone knows where the children are on a school night, who is doing the pick-up, and how the weekends are divided. The holidays remove that structure, and a number of pressures tend to surface together.

Both parents, understandably, want to make the most of their time. One may have booked a week away; the other may have planned a visit to grandparents on the same dates. Expectations often differ, with one parent wanting a relaxed, spontaneous few weeks and the other preferring everything mapped out in advance. New partners, extended family, and the cost of childcare over a long summer all add to the mix. Travel plans, and overseas trips in particular, raise questions that simply do not arise during the school week. And for the children themselves, disruption to their normal routine can be unsettling if it is not handled with care.

Planning ahead: the single best way to avoid conflict

If there is one piece of advice that prevents more holiday disputes than any other, it is this: agree the arrangements early and put them in writing.

Try to settle the broad shape of the holidays well before the term ends, rather than negotiating dates at the last minute when emotions and logistics are already stretched. Give each other as much advance notice as possible, especially where travel is involved, and share the practical details: dates, destinations, and how the children can be contacted while they are away. Even a simple exchange of texts or emails confirming who has the children and when can prevent a great deal of misunderstanding, and it creates a clear record if questions arise later.

Flexibility matters too. Plans change, and a parent who is willing to swap dates or accommodate a special occasion will usually find that goodwill is returned. For families who want something more durable than an informal understanding, a written agreement such as a Minute of Agreement can set out how holidays are to be divided year on year, removing a recurring source of friction.

What happens if parents cannot agree?

Not every disagreement can be resolved around the kitchen table, and that is entirely normal. Where you reach an impasse, mediation is usually the best next step. A trained, impartial mediator can help you work through the practical issues in a calmer setting, and it is almost always quicker, less expensive, and less stressful than going to court.

If mediation does not resolve matters, early legal advice will help you understand where you stand and what a reasonable outcome looks like. As a last resort, either parent can apply to the Sheriff Court under section 11 of the 1995 Act for a specific issue order, asking the court to decide a particular question, such as whether a proposed holiday should go ahead. As with every decision about a child, the court's paramount consideration is the welfare of the child, not the preferences of either parent.

Court should be the exception rather than the rule. Where holiday disputes have become part of a wider pattern of arrangements breaking down, our separate guide on contact problems under Scots law looks at the options in more detail.

Keeping the children at the centre

Whatever the disagreement, the question that matters most is the one the court itself would ask: what is best for the child(ren)? 

Almost without exception, children benefit from spending meaningful time with both parents, and from holidays they can simply enjoy. Keeping that goal in view, and being willing to compromise to reach it, is the surest way to a summer that works for everyone.

How Paris Steele Can Help

At Paris Steele, our experienced Family Law team helps separated parents put workable holiday and contact arrangements in place, formalise them where that would help, and resolve disputes constructively, in or out of court. We understand that these issues are rarely just about dates on a calendar, and we handle them with care and clear, practical advice.

If you would like to talk something through, a member of the family law team is available every Wednesday fortnight, from 2pm until 4pm, for a free and confidential telephone call. To arrange a time, or to speak to us about your own situation, call our North Berwick office on 01620 892138 or our Dunbar office on 01368 862746.